Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Being Uncomfortable
This is not a "sports blog", per se. We are a couple of dudes who do like sports, however, so there will be plenty of "Things We Hate About Sports Coverage/Athletes/etc" posts. This is not one of those posts.
Today, we're talking about being uncomfortable. Not physically, like "oh I slept funny and now my neck is stiff." That's pretty annoying, for sure, but not as bad as wishing you were dead rather than be in the same room as your friend when he calls his mom a bitch.
Oh sure, good times. Even better: He was adopted. We were probably around the 12-14 year old range. Big asshole time in a boy's life. I can't even remember what they were arguing about, but I sure as shit remember sitting there wishing I was anywhere else but there. It might have been that we had just caught some crabs and we wanted to boil them to death. Like I said, big asshole time.
She was a saint, too. I mean, obviously. They adopted the kid. Spoiled him rotten, though. Always a mistake.
It went down like this:
Friend: whatever, mom. We're still gonna do it.
Friend's mom: No, that's not right. I won't let you do that here.
Friend: Mom, you're being a bitch! [to me] She's being a bitch, right?
Me: uhhhh, [looks at freind, then friend's mom] I uhh, I don't....
Friend's mom: [obviously embarrassed] Do not talk like that. I am going to call your father.
Friend: Who cares, you stupid bitch?!
Me: [wanting to die, slowly backs out of kitchen.]
Friend: [to me] See what I'm talking about? She's a total bitch! [To his mom] Look what you did, you made him leave!
That is a horrible, horrible feeling and my friend was a complete asshole for putting me in that situation. Clearly, I am a good kid at heart and feel bad for the mom. I don't want to just be all "yeah, totally. She's a huge bitch" because A.) I don't really think she's being a bitch and B.) I have parents, who, you know, I respected and feared. I did not need it getting back to them that I called some adult a bitch.
On the other hand, I can't just turn my back on my friend. I can't just tell him "hey, you're getting a little carried away. You insulted her a little bit, you got a little out of order yourself." I've got to hang out with this kid later, after this whole ugly scene passes. I'm not going to sell him out. And, so, I was left with only one option: The non-committal, deer-in-the-headlights look, followed by the quick and obvious exit.
There's plenty of other examples of uncomfortability. In films, for instance. The most uncomfortable films are the romantic comedies. Not because I'm a guy and hate chick flicks. I love romcom's. They're great.The only problem is they have that major uncomfortable moment, about three quarters into the film. It always happens.
The relationship between the main characters has been moving along great. They are, like, this close to "falling in love" when all of sudden: that tiny little deceit, the very one that lead to this improbably perfect relationship in the first place, is discovered. Now, the girl is pissed off at the guy because she feels like she doesn't even know who he is anymore. How can she trust anything he says? He lied about loving his work as a counselor to mentally disturbed senior citizens just for sex?! Of course, this is unbelievably frustrating to the viewer, because we know that he only lied to her because he was embarrassed about his ailing grandfather's Tourette's syndrome and is, really, a good guy who should get the girl. He tries to get back together with her, but she's not returning his calls and then, he finds out she's moving back to Chicago to reevaluate everything. All hope is lost.
The worst part of the whole thing is when she just happens to find out about the tiny white lie. Maybe one of his friends says something by accident which sets off a chain reaction of flashbacks where something just does not add up, or maybe she sees one of his pay stubs from Microsoft, where he makes a million dollars a week instead of the $45k a year he said he made down at "The Center", who knows?
All we know is: she is pissed and heartbroken, and we have all this information at our disposal. It's just a little misunderstanding! We all saw this coming a mile away and had been hoping for the past 10 minutes that she either does not find out or that guy is able to explain himself. The confrontation is the worst part. He walks into the kitchen and she's holding the paystub and just asks, all coldly, "What's this?" Right there, that's the most uncomfortable part of the entire film. That is when you go "Oh, fuck."
If the stupid guy would just say something and explain it to her ("Listen, I was embarrassed about my grandfather. I was at The Center looking for some literature for him when we met. He says "shit eye" every five minutes. I never knew when I met you that day...I never knew I would have feelings for you like this. Everything else about me is true! That was all me when we had that picnic in the park and it started raining and at first it sucked but then we had all that fun running around and slipping down), we could all move on. But, he never does. And you have to sit through 20 minutes of everyone being pissed off and sad at each other.
Today, we're talking about being uncomfortable. Not physically, like "oh I slept funny and now my neck is stiff." That's pretty annoying, for sure, but not as bad as wishing you were dead rather than be in the same room as your friend when he calls his mom a bitch.
Oh sure, good times. Even better: He was adopted. We were probably around the 12-14 year old range. Big asshole time in a boy's life. I can't even remember what they were arguing about, but I sure as shit remember sitting there wishing I was anywhere else but there. It might have been that we had just caught some crabs and we wanted to boil them to death. Like I said, big asshole time.
She was a saint, too. I mean, obviously. They adopted the kid. Spoiled him rotten, though. Always a mistake.
It went down like this:
Friend: whatever, mom. We're still gonna do it.
Friend's mom: No, that's not right. I won't let you do that here.
Friend: Mom, you're being a bitch! [to me] She's being a bitch, right?
Me: uhhhh, [looks at freind, then friend's mom] I uhh, I don't....
Friend's mom: [obviously embarrassed] Do not talk like that. I am going to call your father.
Friend: Who cares, you stupid bitch?!
Me: [wanting to die, slowly backs out of kitchen.]
Friend: [to me] See what I'm talking about? She's a total bitch! [To his mom] Look what you did, you made him leave!
That is a horrible, horrible feeling and my friend was a complete asshole for putting me in that situation. Clearly, I am a good kid at heart and feel bad for the mom. I don't want to just be all "yeah, totally. She's a huge bitch" because A.) I don't really think she's being a bitch and B.) I have parents, who, you know, I respected and feared. I did not need it getting back to them that I called some adult a bitch.
On the other hand, I can't just turn my back on my friend. I can't just tell him "hey, you're getting a little carried away. You insulted her a little bit, you got a little out of order yourself." I've got to hang out with this kid later, after this whole ugly scene passes. I'm not going to sell him out. And, so, I was left with only one option: The non-committal, deer-in-the-headlights look, followed by the quick and obvious exit.
There's plenty of other examples of uncomfortability. In films, for instance. The most uncomfortable films are the romantic comedies. Not because I'm a guy and hate chick flicks. I love romcom's. They're great.The only problem is they have that major uncomfortable moment, about three quarters into the film. It always happens.
The relationship between the main characters has been moving along great. They are, like, this close to "falling in love" when all of sudden: that tiny little deceit, the very one that lead to this improbably perfect relationship in the first place, is discovered. Now, the girl is pissed off at the guy because she feels like she doesn't even know who he is anymore. How can she trust anything he says? He lied about loving his work as a counselor to mentally disturbed senior citizens just for sex?! Of course, this is unbelievably frustrating to the viewer, because we know that he only lied to her because he was embarrassed about his ailing grandfather's Tourette's syndrome and is, really, a good guy who should get the girl. He tries to get back together with her, but she's not returning his calls and then, he finds out she's moving back to Chicago to reevaluate everything. All hope is lost.
The worst part of the whole thing is when she just happens to find out about the tiny white lie. Maybe one of his friends says something by accident which sets off a chain reaction of flashbacks where something just does not add up, or maybe she sees one of his pay stubs from Microsoft, where he makes a million dollars a week instead of the $45k a year he said he made down at "The Center", who knows?
All we know is: she is pissed and heartbroken, and we have all this information at our disposal. It's just a little misunderstanding! We all saw this coming a mile away and had been hoping for the past 10 minutes that she either does not find out or that guy is able to explain himself. The confrontation is the worst part. He walks into the kitchen and she's holding the paystub and just asks, all coldly, "What's this?" Right there, that's the most uncomfortable part of the entire film. That is when you go "Oh, fuck."
If the stupid guy would just say something and explain it to her ("Listen, I was embarrassed about my grandfather. I was at The Center looking for some literature for him when we met. He says "shit eye" every five minutes. I never knew when I met you that day...I never knew I would have feelings for you like this. Everything else about me is true! That was all me when we had that picnic in the park and it started raining and at first it sucked but then we had all that fun running around and slipping down), we could all move on. But, he never does. And you have to sit through 20 minutes of everyone being pissed off and sad at each other.
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