re-boot

Well, not surprising to anyone who knows us, we lost interest pretty quickly in this. Not necessarily because we don't enjoy writing, though. It would just be, like, much better if you could write without having to actually do anything.

So, in this attempt to revive the "The Worst" franchise, we are turning the spotlight on: Us.

Now, it should be noted that one of Us is even Worse than the other. He's never posted a thing. For the remainder of the post I will continue to refer to "Us." (Just know: He's way worse than me.)

We are the Worst because we don't contribute anything to the world at large. Instead, we take pot shots at all the other contributors. Exhibit A? This fucking blog. And, we can't even do that right. Anyone trying to do something creative or worthwhile? We will instantly find what we think is not up to snuff with it, and then crucify the person for even trying. The 800 lb gorilla in the room, of course, is that we would never even attempt to do what those we criticize have done. Why? It's that old saw: Those who can - do; those who can't - viciously criticize and belittle, probably as a result of deep-seated personal shortcomings.

Further implicating Us in the conversation of The Worst is extreme laziness. Like, crippling laziness. [This would be where the shitty stand-up comedian would say something like "I'd go to a Drive-in movie, but only if they had valet parking.] In reality, I am saying there are a million things  I would totally do, if it was super, super easy to do those things.

Like, learn to play the guitar. I took guitar lessons. For a while, actually. But, I never really practiced all that hard, and got annoyed when  I wasn't able to play like Jimi Hendrix. So, I stopped going to lessons. Now my guitar sits in a corner with a funny "wash me" note written in the dust.

Or, I was going to write a movie. I even looked for screenplay writing software online! Then a friend, who already had the software said "hey, take mine." Awesome. Oh! but it's not compatible with my iMac. Hey, Family Guy is on.

And finally, the most damning trait: We are The Worst because what we hate the most is what we are. Subconsciously we know that the reason we find so many things so terrible is because they remind us of ourselves. I guess we are now consciously aware of that now, too. Rather than take proactive measures to better ourselves though, we just talk about how everyone else sucks.

Man, I started writing all that up there about a week ago. See what I mean?